The Roaming Manifesto
Being a Full and Binding Declaration of the Rights, Duties and General Whereabouts of the Aimless Wanderer
WHEREAS the day is long and the tasks are many; and WHEREAS nobody has ever, on their last day, wished they had attended one more meeting; we the undersigned — being of sound mind and entirely unbothered disposition — do hereby set down the following.
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On Purpose
There shall be none. Any purpose acquired accidentally during roaming must be released back into the wild unharmed.
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On Destination
A destination is permitted only if you forget it before arriving. Arriving on time is grounds for immediate review of your membership.
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On Speed
All roaming shall be conducted at the pace of a buffalo who has heard the question but is choosing not to answer it.
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On the Fridge
The fridge may be opened for inspection at any hour. No purchase necessary. The contents will not have changed. Open it again.
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On Being Asked "What Are You Doing?"
The approved response is a shrug. The advanced response is "kuch nahi, bas." No further detail shall be provided, as no further detail exists.
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On Productivity
Productivity is a rumour started by people with calendars. Nothing on this website has ever loaded a spreadsheet and we intend to keep it that way.
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On Company
Roaming alone is classical. Roaming in a group is folk. Roaming beside a dog who also has no plans is the highest form of the art.
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On the Evening
The hour between "should head back" and actually heading back is hereby recognised as the finest hour of the day, and is protected under this charter.
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On Snacks
Snacks acquired while roaming carry no calories, as they were not planned. This is settled science within these walls.
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On Returning Home
You will return home eventually, having achieved nothing, and you will sleep extremely well. This is the entire point.
The Oath of the Katta
I will go out. I will do nothing. I will enjoy it thoroughly.
میں باہر جاؤں گا۔ کچھ نہیں کروں گا۔ اور خوب مزے کروں گا۔
ਮੈਂ ਬਾਹਰ ਜਾਵਾਂਗਾ। ਕੁਝ ਨਹੀਂ ਕਰਾਂਗਾ। ਤੇ ਖ਼ੂਬ ਮੌਜਾਂ ਕਰਾਂਗਾ।
🐃
Ratified unanimously by a committee of one buffalo,
somewhere between the fields and the fridge.
Unenforceable in every jurisdiction. Deliberately so.